


It's just a theory

by asamandra



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint has a theory, M/M, even Ben Grimm's balls, they talk about balls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/pseuds/asamandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has a theory why Hulk is so aggressive</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's just a theory

“It's because of his balls,” Clint said and Bruce choked and nearly spat his beer over the coffee table.

“Excuse me?” He stared down at the younger man who just shrugged and took a sip of his own beer. 

“Just saying,” Clint smirked and Bruce shoved him away from him to turn him around. 

“What do you mean it's because of his balls?” 

Clint sighed, placed his bottle on the table, shut the TV down and sat up to look at Bruce now. 

“I mean, it's just a theory, you know? But I think Hulk is so angry because of his balls.” Bruce looked confused. 

“Look, you wear pants your size, okay? And I love them, they are sexy and all that... but Hulk is a _tiny bit_ larger than you, babe, and when you change the pants don't change with you. They are too small for Hulk and they crush his balls and... and that has to hurt. I mean, you know that it hurts when you squeeze your balls and why should it be different with him? The pants squeeze his balls, it hurts him and that makes him so aggressive.” 

“Okay, so you want to tell me that Hulk destroyed half of Harlem, the Culver University, Rocinha and whatever else is because my pants are too tight?” 

“Well, that sounds a little bit negative when you put it this way.” 

“A little bit negative? Clint, I mean... you've just told me it's my fault that Hulk smashed all these...” 

“Woah, woah, woah! Stop! I've definitely never said that it's your fault. I've just said, that he's angry because his balls are crushed.” 

“And what do you want me to do? Wear skirts?” Bruce raised his brows and Clint couldn't repress a tiny laugh.

“Well, as much as I have to admit that I'd really love to see you in a skirt – and imagine all those options. Just... well... back to topic.” Clint tried to get that lecherous smirk out of his face before he could continue.

“You and Stark, you're two of the smartest people around. Add Phil's pet scientists and the whole R&D departments of Stark Industries _and_ SHIELD and I would say, it should be possible to get pants that stretch when he comes out. I mean, look at Ben Grimm and his pants?”

“His balls are of stone, Clint.” 

“With all those eggheads it... wait, what? I mean, how do you even know about Ben Grimm's balls?” 

“I've talked to him. Last year at the SI barbecue, remember? The one where you and Thor had that drinking contest and...” 

“You've talked to Ben Grimm about his balls? At Tony's barbecue? While I was drinking with Thor?” Clint furrowed his brows now. “Why on earth would you talk to Ben Grimm about his balls?” 

“It was more a... you know... the whole package thing. He just mentioned that everything is of stone and well... I'm a scientist. We're curious by nature.” 

“So you've asked him about his balls?” And now Bruce cocked his head and smirked.

“Are you jealous?” 

“Pfft! Why would I be jealous of Mr. Balls-of-stone?” Bruce's grin got broader.

“You sound jealous.” 

“I'm not,” Clint pouted slightly. 

“So, about your theory... you think...” Bruce started slowly but Clint interrupted him.

“It's just... when you change because you want to, he's not as aggressive as when it just happens. I think, he can... well... _prepare_ himself for the pain when you want to change. And by the way, you always fiddle with your pants when you change willingly. But when it just happens, then BAM, Hulk comes out and his balls get crushed. Well, if it was about me, I _would_ be angry.” Clint shrugged.

“You know what? That actually makes sense.” Bruce finally admitted after reconsidering all the times he deliberately hulked out.

“See? Not always as dumb as a brick,” Clint smirked and Bruce leaned over to him and smacked the back of his head. “Ouch! What was that for?” 

“For calling yourself dumb again.” Bruce stated firmly while Clint rubbed the spot with his hand. But when he rose and wanted to go to the kitchen Clint held him back.

“Where are you going?” He asked and Bruce pointed at his cellphone on the kitchen counter.

“I just want to call Tony about the pants thing and...” 

“Well, do you think that can wait till tomorrow?” Clint asked, his head cocked and a playful smile on his lips.

“It would just be a...” Bruce pointed again and Clint shook his head. 

“No, I have a better idea for now. You know... all that talk about balls...” He rose and took Bruce's hand. But the other man looked confused when Clint tried to pull him to the bedroom.

“It's just a... oh!... _oh!_... yeah, I guess it can wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> [asamandra on tumblr](http://asamandra.tumblr.com/)


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